Friday, August 7, 2009

Seriously, how does poop get there?

At the beginning of every month I have to gather up all my store's bank statements, receipts, and misc. documents and balance the previous month's accounts. Not a big deal, just time consuming. So I woke up with the determination to just sit down and get it done. Unfortunately that determination didn't last past one cup of coffee so I decided to at least be somewhat productive and clean the kid's side of the house. Dun Dun Duuuuunnnnn!!! I never know what I will find when I actually do some major cleaning and today beat the time I discovered Jack's wall of boogers that he is so very proud of. I was cleaning the cedar chest in Jack's room when I noticed some gunk on it. This is not unusual for our house. Before kids all I had to do was dust, now I have to follow up with a wet rag because there are always sticky places on everything. But today's gunk was extra gross. I, being a typical mom, decided to use my nails to scratch aways the gunk only to discover it was POOP! I don't know how in the world Jack managed to get poop on the side of his cedar chest. He must have backed his dirty bare booty up to it while on his hands and knees! SOOOOO GROSS! But it is all clean now and sanitized. I also managed to discover a rotting tomato in the fireplace. (I really do keep a pretty clean house. I don't know how I missed that.) And I found two missing puzzle pieces!! Score! (Does anyone say "score" anymore? If not, I'm bringing it back.) I felt so accomplished after tackling both kid's rooms and the playroom that I decided to go ahead and do all the bathrooms as well.

I hate bathrooms, and not just cleaning bathrooms but just in general. They are just a source of stress to me. The other day all I wanted to do was go pee in peace. But of course both kids had to follow me in and while Addie climbed up my legs Jack kept wanting to drape his body over my legs as if he no longer had energy left to stand on his own. Why does peeing always have to be a group activity? We were at Costco last week and Jack decides that he has to potty while we are at the very back of the store. So I push that giant buggy all the way to the front, find a place to store the buggy, (praying that a worker won't go put all my stuff back on the shelves) and take both kids into the public bathroom. Jack insists that he has to take his shorts, underwear, and shoes completely off. So whatever, I'm just glad he didn't have an accident, so I am squatting down with Addie on my lap trying to balance her and the overstuffed diaper bag while trying to unbutton Jack's shorts with one hand while constantly reminding Jack not to touch anything! And how am I supposed to pee in a public bathroom with both kids? I can't put Addie on the nasty floor and have yet to figure out how to manage everything involved and still hold her at the same time while making sure Jack doesn't drag his hands all over the bathroom stall. But anyways, back to the cleaning of bathrooms...I especially hate cleaning bathrooms. And now that Jack is peeing standing up I have to clean them at least once and sometimes twice and week. (Maybe that is normal, seems like a lot to me.) But lately is has seemed that no matter how much I clean them, they always kind of smell like pee pee. But today I found the source of the mysterious smell. I was brushing my teeth when Jack came running into my bathroom as fast as he could while pulling down his underwear. I continued brushing knowing that he is capable of handling this on his own when all of a sudden I heard this "Thud da da da da." Apparently this was Jack's first time to potty this morning and he didn't have good control of his aim quite yet and had managed to hit the trash can next to the potty. He didn't seem to care and went about his business but I set to work and scrubbed that trash can down and then proceeded to clean every square inch of the floor, potty, and wall surrounding potty. I am so glad that the smell is officially gone (until tomorrow morning, I'm sure) and the house is spotless (until the kids wake up from nap time.) ;)

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  1. This totally cracks me up! I am with you on the public bathrooms-I am constantly threatening Landree with her life not. to. touch. anything!

  2. Yes Annie always gets so upset when I shut the bathroom door because "it's ok for girls to see girl bottoms." I tell her that doesn't mean they have to see girl bottoms.