Today I experienced perfection, at least my new idea of perfection. For some reason I feel this great desire to be perfect or at least good at so many many things. Maybe all moms or women feel this, I don't know but for me it has become quite obvious that I just can't do it. I have finally realized I am unable to keep my house spotless or even just tidy, my kids just might go a few days without a bath (does swimming count as a bath?), my car will always be messy (actually found a bannana peel today), sometimes we eat the same thing three days in a row, I will never look like a supermodel, I let Jack watch way too much TV and Addie eat way too many cheerios off the floor, and it doesn't matter how many times I clean my closet, it will be a disaster by the end of the week. What a relief to finally figure all this out! I can finally stop pretending. I know I wasn't fooling anyone but myself so I'm a little embarrassed about the charade, but oh well. This is me.
So today I pulled my hair in a ponytail, packed the kids in the car and left our messy house to go to the park to meet up with one of my very best friends and her three boys. It sprinkled on the windshield the whole way there but didn't start to really rain until an hour after we arrived. Maybe before I would have been concerned about my makeup running or hair frizzing (which it did) but today we just got soaking wet in that beautiful summer rain. Watching Jack play with his friends while I got to visit with a truly genuine friend felt like perfection. There was nothing spectacular about the event (if you can even call it an event) it just was right and real. For me there is not much happiness found in all the stuff I thought I had to own or the roles I had to play or lists I had to check off, but today there was an overflowing of joy and peace in the simplicity of playing in the rain. I kind of think that maybe God sent this rain just for me. Who knows? ;)